Pre-Qualified

That is it. Last night signaled the last two “hanging-outs” that I ever go on. Gone are the days of pseudo-dating and/or giving the weaklings a chance. If you are male and your are not already my friend or a friend of one of my close friends, I don’t want to see you, talk to you, befriend you and especially not “ hang out” and pseudo-date you. Men, minus my male cohorts whom I love dearly, are all idiots, hell even the beloved ones have been known to be stupid at times, but at least I know they have redeeming qualities that make me eventually forgive them. Why it has taken my so long to realize this kind of scares me. I will call it optimism, not naivety.

Yes, from this point forward, men must now be pre-qualified in order to even be welcome into the social circle.

Yep, last nights two hanging outings went that well....

Date #1: I called off the coffee consumption after 45 minutes, yes it was that terrible that I couldn’t even give him a full hour of my life. If you keep on persisting that “we must hang out” even when I tell you repeatedly that I have little time in an attempt to discourage your wooing, finally convince me to get coffee, talk a big game on IM about your “crazy lifestyle” (as a kindergarten teacher....right), and then cannot even give me decent eye contact or make interesting convo, I will hate you. I will then make you squirm. In 45 minutes I managed to talk politics and religion. I scared him with my lefty liberal talk and bash the emperor G Doub, who he voted for twice. On purpose. I think my favorite part of the night was when he said that military benefits were an important decision in his political views because his brother is in the Armed Forces. Hmmmm, someone tell me if I am wrong, but I am pretty sure that the Republicans are the ones who are notorious for cutting Vet’s benefits. Bastards. You’re an idiot. Get your issues straight. The only positive thing that I have to say about this guy is that he had lovely teeth.

Date #2: If someone were to, let’s say, verbalize the following: “Hey Elle, you know there is this cool event at Mercury tomorrow night, you should totally come with us,” followed by exiting the salon with me for the sole purpose to ask me to dinner, and then agreeing to call the next day to arrange a time to meet up for the event, wouldn’t you think, “Hey great, sounds like Thursday night is going to be a good time?” Yea, or not so much. You cannot quasi-ask to hang out with me and then not call me with the meet up time, it was your idea dumbass, not mine. I will then also have to hate you too. I will then gather Shauna B and her co-workers to go to the function with me, inform you about your membership to my exclusive bastard list and then proceed to have a good time sans your presence. Stooopid, seriously.