Unknowingly Shauna B and I, while on a much needed ciggie/ice cream binge last night, initiated groupie status when we caught the end of a show at the Terrace.

We now officially heart The Profits indefinitely.

See, I can like boys with shaggy hair who are in bands that aren't on MTV yet.....
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I also heart Stef and Sarah and apologise for missing the phone conference today!

Morning Spent Trying to Win Heather Concert Tickets

Pleading emails and frantic speed dial phone calls were made to a Madison radio personality trying to convince her that HK is the most obsessed and deserving Howie Day fan. The winning package included Summerfest concert tickets, a private singing of Howie’s recent hit "Collide," and an autographed guitar. Michelle’s good deed of the day stemmed from the memories of the fall 2001 cult-like rambling and shriekish phone calls from HK after each of her multiple contacts with the (at the time) relatively no named crooner. While contact was limited to every one of his concerts, CD signings and appearances in Orlando, Heather did manage to get a autograph and picture, despite hopes of dates leading to an eventual happy marriage.

While Paralegally Blonde does not promote Stalkerism (that’s directed at you phone/text/VM/email stalkers), the haunting of Rock Stars and/or certain college football quarterbacks who lived in the Towers and once ate lunch at my table in the Towers in 1998, is acceptable and encouraged (Ahem, Wendi and Kari).

News Flash:

I am never going to be a Vascular Surgeon. Bypass grafts, so not my thing. ______________________________________________

In case you were wondering, I am up to my bulbus oculi in research material and have been since yesterday. Sumatriptan succinate much needed.

College Days Re-Visited

MEMORIAL UNION- Yesterday area Sentimental Junky and Union Groupie, Michelle, spent her lunch break in the Trophy Room of the Memorial Union reminiscing about years past while eating a Veggie Pita, in the bag, with a fork, after covering it in ranch dressing and two packets of mustard. In typical fashion, care was also taken to remove all signs of onion. In between bites of Michelle’s daily college lunch, the local news spoof paper, The Onion, was read and giggled at as well. Casual meanderings through the building, post-lunch, shocked the Junky to still be recognized by long time Union employees even though her tenure tearfully ended in August 2002 with a move to Chicago.

Despite the fact that the Groupie spent every college day in the Union either lunching, working, drinking woodchuck, getting Task to buy French Fries on his WisCard, and/or attempting to study, she claims she will never get tired of the building and probably will attempt to drag the majority of the Madison friends there on a semi-regular basis.
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While today’s post might not sound all that interesting, those who dined with me on a regular basis in college understand quite well just how ridiculous my OCD habits are. So this one is for you, an opportunity slay, my special Union lunching friends...

She's Baaaack!

Wendi is up and terrorizing Tokyo! Read all about it here.

Time to Move out of the Parent's basement...

My relationship attention span, scientifically and statistically proven to last no more than a month, has once again failed to be held. The most recent affair is ending, with it's three week stint is soon expire. Yep, it's that time again to be moving along and getting on with life.

Yes, Mom and Dad I am breaking up with you.

Honestly, it is sooo me and not you at all. Seriously, it has been a great three weeks with you cooking and introducing to me food other than Lean Cuisines, doing and folding my laundry, letting me live rent free, and allowing me to come and go as I please, especially when I crawl in far after bar time.

I soon will be packing up and taking all my belongings currently stored in the unused 3rd portion of the 3 car garage and vacating your premise.

Please don't try to make me stay, I just can't do it anymore. It is going to be hard, but I think we both will get over it. I know you love me and all, and I guess if it makes you feel better, I guess I can let you help me move on July 1st to my cute new little apartment in Madison....just don't go getting the impression that I neeeed you (although if you want to re-instate an allowance that might be ok).

Don't call me, I'll call you...
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Seriously, Momma and Pappa rock! Shacking up with the parents while apartment hunting might not have ideal, but is much appreciated.

Just go before I start freaking crying....

How to say goodbye several ways in Japanese:
*Sayonara
*Jaa nee
*Itte rasshai (so long)
*Dewa mata (see you later)
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I wonder if this explains anything about the friendship that Wendi and I have had since 2002-

Our first official outing: Wendi's 23rd birthday party sent a friend to the hospital for alcohol poisoning
Our last official outing: Wendi's going away party that ended at 9 am with bodies strewn all over the sticky beer coated floor/front yard.

In between regular acts of intoxication, this Red became one of my very best friends. I don't think you know how much I will miss you. Thanks for it all: the drama, the laughter, the tears, the scoldings I had to give you for your lack of punctuality, the boyfriends, the road trips, the immaturity, the Ethiopian food, the Cubbies, the ciggies, the waxing philosophical, the Republican hatred, the bitching, the speeding tickets, the fighting and the listening.

I heart you Wendi! Good luck in Japan and try not to get arrested and/or wind up being a geisha (since I cannot be there to chaperone).

Freak Show

Jenna, it's your lucky day!

The State which elected not only Ronald Reagan, but more recently Aaahnald as governor, has picked a jury of peers which decided that the King of Freakiness is not guilty on all 10 counts of the not so nice touching of the male kiddie persuasion. Way to go Cali, once again your intelligence and rationalization shines through the pot smoking haze!

I knew the marzipan Michael pic would come in handy one day....

Wendi's Shin-dig

Saturday & Sunday Appointment Book-
12:00 pm: Wake-up well rested, beauty sleep attained.
1:00-3:00pm: Cute outfits tried on/rejected/packed
3:30-6:30pm: Belt out Kelly Clarkson songs during Chicago drive
6:31pm: Realization that Mapquest gives bad directions
6:32pm: Wendi gives directions to Kari's house
6:32-7:25pm: Realization that Wendi gives bad directions
7:25pm: Anxiety attack in car
7:30-9:30pm: Granola grocery store visited, Sushi eaten
9:30-11:30pm: Guests arrive, drinking, random German dude targeted as Michelle's object of hatred for the evening
11:30pm-1:30am: Various friends selected as drunk dial recipients, Joseph indefinitely hated
2:00-4am: Peace Corp do-gooder proves to be creepy boy, CBed indirectly by karma/1st grader/general patheticness
4:00-9am: Time traveling, hours lacking in the distinguishability department, all were all drunk, loud and ridiculous.

Ok fine, I finally have something to say...

Prince Charming Escapes

Repeatedly Dr. Mom has recently tried to prescribe a solution to the endlessly plaguing list of "Michelleisms." The Occupational Therapist, who moonlights as a self taught psychotherapist, concluded her eye rolling sessions with her best Rx to cure my quirky tendencies being "you just need a nice boyfriend, stop dating all those mean ones." God mom, haven’t you heard of the feminist movement? I don’t need a boyfriend! I am strong and independent and kind of self-sufficient! Besides, I don’t need A boyfriend, I need several in continual rotation with interchangeable heads (TM Jenna)..get it right Mom!

Anyway, back to point...

Last week Dr. Mom stumbled upon a tree frog in our house, screamed, scooped Kermit up in a cup and tossed him in the black-tub-with-spraying-water-surrounded-by-rocks-to-make-it-look-natural-but-really-isn’t-convincing-anyone-thing that my dad calls a "garden pond."

Thanks Mom, that was probably my damn Prince Charming you were hoping for me and you freaking tossed him outside. Ah, the ironies of life.
Thursday Highlights:

Caviar enjoyed for the 2nd time in 25 years. Swanky office fundraising affair to be credited.

"Did you get a copy of that Memo?"
Mojo apparently didn’t read the memo that I DON’T LIVE IN CHICAGO ANYMORE. The neglectful email reading obvious after VM was left for an evening social invite.

Bar fight considered over Mug Margaritas with J. Mo– Gossipy HS nemesis spotted looking evil as ever.

Radio Personalities Sited

Rumors to End-
To whomever started this rumor: No I have not/am not/will not be hanging out with my ex college BF Matt. Sewing Circle, you are getting the blame for this one.....

Elle's Super Fans

SERIOUSLY,

SHOULDN'T

YOU

BE

WORKING

OR

SOMETHING?

Party Time

EDITOR'S NOTE: Some people just don't get it. Some people have a lot of nerve. Some people need to get on with life. Some people need to stop it with the drama. Some people should learn to just be happy for me because I am trying to make myself happy.

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Apparently some folks in Chicago do love me, as the Packing Party, part II continued yesterday. Thank you so much Jenna, Wendi, Kari and Neighbor Nate. I cannot even begin to tell you much I appreciated it.