Unexpected Tsunami hits Tsunami
TSUNAMI SUSHI- Drama, the founding member of the Sugar Crew, made an unexpected appearance during a sushi dinner late Tuesday evening. Michelle, Jenna, and Wendi, driven by hunger pains after modeling and rejecting most of Momma Myers’ Retro dress collection in preparation for Kari’s costume Birthday party, opted to christen the now joint neighborhood of Michelle and Jenna via an outing while donning the 3 most hideous gowns of the reject pile. Heading to one of Chicago’s “hottest sushi restaurants” according to Chicago City Search, the girls made friends and sparked multiple conversations about their interesting ensembles. Soon after being seated, Drama rudely interrupted the mini-reunion by plunking down uninvited at their table. Drama, not dressed to match the Girl Band, came outfitted as a balding, coke-head banker, who was waaaaay past his prime, that is if he was ever in his prime.
Initially, the Crew found delight in torturing this transient table-roamer.
“I convinced him that I was half Korean, that Michelle runs marathons and that Wendi was a world class gymnast!” Jenna squealed with delight. Michelle added “Yeh, it was kind of fun, we didn’t have anything better to do anyway, Wendi was still sipping her sake and our waiter had been ignoring us for a full hour.”
With the arrival of his food and a fresh bottle of sake, the coked out banker deserted the girls and migrated his slimey ass back to his equally slimey friends. After loudly proclaiming to the entire restaurant that his sake resembled a male bodily fluid produced after orgasm, the girls unable to stand the obnoxiousness that was the Bald Eagle’s table, needed to escape their surreal prison. To show their displeasure for the situation, eyes were rolled, sighs loudly exasperated, insults exchanged, water was thrown and a glass was broken.
The evening ending with parable, left the girls disturbed, amused, and confused. “Damn, that was the best After School Special ever, now I never want to drugs! Those dudes were the craziest of the crazersons!” Michelle was later quoted as saying. “Yep,” said Wendi, “Seriously, those dudes needed to Fuck off. Crack is Whack!”
View Pics from the evening that went terribly wrong...
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
After School Special
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Sugar Free Redbull: Check
Diet Coke for when I finish the 4 pack of SFRB: Check
Parliament Lights: Check
Take-out Sushi: Check
Battery charged Ipod full of crappy Top 40 hits: Check
Yep, as assumed, I am up to my eyeballs in work and have no immediate plans to vacate the premise of the law firm for an extended period of time. Yea for working late and on the weekend!
I might cry.
Damn European Vacations for 10 days, f*s up everything!
For those impatient types: Soon to come, the details of the Fam Vaca... Here is a sneak peak:
1- Run-in with Men's Hungarian National Soccer, potential new BF found;
2- Visit world's only Marzipan Museum, Michael Jackson sculpture made out of White Chocolate instead of Dark Chocolate;
3- Vienna Visit;
4- Multiple fights between Timmy and Michelle, little bro has no manners and doesn’t respect his elders (ie Me);
5- Fight with cab driver over inflated fare rate;
6- Now know way too much about St. Stephen, the Hapsburg Empire, Queen Sisi, and King Matthias;
7- Purchase of Absinth made at Duty Free shop in Amsterdam Airport; and
8- Extreme Jet Lag, don't want to be at work today.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
See ya later Suckas....
I'm off to Eastern Europe and trust me the Griswalds got nothing on my family....
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Lost Craig’s List Email Pal Resurfaces
Tale of love at Gaming Conference
STATE OF DENIAL- Area paralegal and part-time love counselor was surprised early Wednesday morning to find an email in her inbox from one time CL e-pal, “The Mozart of Gaming Music,” who was once again requesting love advice. The two page email wove a tale of love at first sight at a recent California Gaming Convention.
Mozart, who recently gave his crazy-control-freak-with-evil-tendencies-of-an-ex the boot by Dr. Michelle’s advise, decided that after 5 hours of hanging out with his new Zelda Princess, “Gamer Girl,” was decidedly convinced that she as was in love with him as much as he was in love with her. Over a shared McDonald’s salad in a mall food court, Mozart gave GG bullet point examples of how her body language told him that she was head over heels as well. Much to Mozart’s dismay, GG stated that she did not feel the same way, as she was in a 6 year relationship and was sorry if she had conveyed interest via a few “arm touches, a hug, an eye contact” that was only met to be friendly. She later stated that she would like to keep in contact, but really wasn’t in a position to date, let alone date a person who lives in a different state.
Unmoved by her response, Mozart solicited Dr. Michelle for the female perspective, as he “knows how to read women, knows the difference between a friendly touch, and someone touching you and hugging you because there are major sparks in the air” and that “she's using the friends thing to keep it safe."
Gamer Girl is yet to return Mozart’s email from Sunday.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Monday, March 14, 2005
When Irish Eyes are Smiling...
Only the beginning of the end.... 
My Sunday: The Irish Catholic Version
9:00 am: Meet Morgan as PJ Clarke's opens;
9:01 am: Loot tables for better Irish garb;
9:15 am: Morgan eats massive amounts of bacon, Michelle, a green bagel;
9:30 am: Wendi and Jenna arrive, go directly to open bar;
9:40 am: Katie and Kristi arrive, go directly to open bar;
10:00-11:30 am: Michelle made official Bloody Mary maker, new appreciation for Jameson and coffee, fight nearly erupts 'cause Wendi wants Illinois to win;
11:30 am-12:15 pm: School Bus ride to SCARY south side to celebrate with the city's real Irish, drink beer on bus, smoke cigs on bus, contemplate if indirectly we are corrupting the youth who will be riding the bus on Monday because the bus now smells like beer sludge;
12:20 pm: Yelled at by Cops;
12:30 pm: Wander around, don't really pay attention to parade, pick up a guy in line for the port-a-potty, make him our group chaperone, look for booze and/or bar;
12:45 pm: Cop at the White Hen tells us that today it is ok to drink on street (just don't do it on the CTA, Jenna..)
1:30 pm: Head North, look for train back to civilization, take Cab to Will's to join other UW alum for the game;
6:00 pm: Go home, shower, crawl into bed, pass out for night.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Friday, March 11, 2005
Extortion at it's finest...
COOBAH- A ransom note was passed to area tool and known former collegian alum last night by two sorority sisters-turned-bratty Trixies. According to the note that was drunkenly penned on a bar napkin, the demands included two cigs in exchange for their silence. If demands were not met, the signed "Badgers 4 Life" threatened to shed some unfavorable information via an intervention with his date in the bathroom. No injuries were reported, as luckily all demands were met and mouths kept shut.
This is the second and only other known threat that has been issued by the "B4L" to this acquaintance. It is still unknown why exactly these girls continue to target this and only this chump. The first attack was in mid-2004.
Don't let this happen to you....
Boisen circa July 2000, a run in with "Big Bertha"
Happy Birthday Boisen! Stay away from the 20 foot beer bongs tonight....
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Does this look familiar, Defendant?]
Stacee bonds with "Big Bertha"
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Circus Freaks
Are you broke? 'Cause the CTA is an endless source of amusement. $1.75 is all that it takes to give me fodder for the day.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sneaker Jesus is not only an avid public transportation fan, he is also known to wander the food court of the State of Illinois Building....whatever, I guess saving souls makes divine ones hungry.]
Monday, March 07, 2005
Wendi celebrates the liberation of Martha
CHICAGO HAPPY HOMEMAKER'S CLUB- A single mother of two, a soon to be bride, two feminists, a future desperate housewife, lame John Dynamite, a hipster cousin, and two dudes who came to see the ladies in their sexy aprons, celebrated the release of Martha Stewart from jail early Saturday evening. Vegetarian-friendly food was prepared with love by the Redheads. Melinda dusted off her grandmother's two tier silver petit-four tray, normally reserved for the top shelf in her kitchen, and provided a combination cheese and fruit platter which complimented Michelle's Pinot Grigio. With the boredom of the suburban lifestyle taking over the party, cigarettes were smoked, tequila shots passed out and "interesting" crafts created. The evening climaxed with drunken Speed Scrabble and Jenna and Michelle throwing fits because they couldn't outfox the Redhead family.
Childish college days revisited
While their might not have been any Jen Schefft sightings on Friday, there were plenty of other distractions at Le Passage including: a woman who did a great impression of a drag queen, $9 Captain and Cokes, a cover charge at 8 pm, and a zombie-like crowd that lacked personality.
Tell me again why I actually go when I get dragged to this bar?
Hope was not all lost for the evening, as Le Bar (my bar) was just around the corner. Dirty Martinis of course drank, stories of the glory days told (and a confirmation that HK did indeed break my futon from sex), the extinguishing of a smelly cigar of the old dude sitting next to us when he went to the bathroom (and also accidentally dropping it on the floor and nearly catching the chair on fire...oops), and the immaturity of making HK walk around wearing one of my flats with one of her heels (I don't know, it was Friday and we were being stupid).
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Apparently soon after our Le Passage departure, John Paul Merritt made an appearence...damn it, he's hot.]
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Seriously, disturbing. Make it stop!
I can't believe that E! is airing this crap....er oops, I forgot that this channel also produced "Love is in the Heir."
I don't know what is worse about this situation:
1-The acting;
2- The wigs (ie MJ's attorney Thomas Mesereau);
3- The make-up (with a video showing how the actor becomes Frankenstein); or
4- THE FACT THAT THEY ARE RE-ENACTING THIS GARBAGE (based on daily trial transcripts).
It wasn't enough that daily updates are available from every news website, TV channel, and magazine on the rack....oh no, why stop there? America needs the visualization as well. Sick bastards.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
The Godfather
You might recall my run-in with a member of “the family” when I dated a mob inforcer turned law student last year. Wearing my hat of anonymousness (because who wants to talk to the work-bound zombies on my train in the morning?) I was forced to laugh, as I secretly spied the former mobie on the train this morning. Let’s just say he was standing next to me the whole ride and I almost didn't recognize him, as has become a lot less John Gotti and a lot more Anthony “Fat Tony” Salerno, if you catch my drift (that's what you get when you try to secretly date me and your ex at same time, punk).
Guess I am not destined to be a mafia princess, that is unless I can snag Carmine.
