Oh My God....

You will not believe the topic of convo at dinner tonight. I question how do I get myself into these situations. Let me explain....

While dining with several ladies, being the entertainer that I am, it was requested that I tell a dating horror story. Seeing as I have what will one day be a voluminous work of non-fiction, I was happy to oblige. I started with the most recent of victims, as you know a humorous situation. As I narrated the social atrocity of his psychoses, it was quickly realized that the Mitten Sniffer had also gone on a date with one of the girls whom I was dining with. Soon thereafter it was discovered that the email asking "am I good looking enough for you, because I want to meet your standards" was not an original email, but a form email that he sent after every first date that he goes on. WTF? Granted I did think it was a bit weird. And yes I did laugh out loud when I read it. But in all seriousness, who does that and then send it as well to another girl. What a head case.

Needless to say, she and I laughed so hard at the situation that surrounding tables began to look at us strangely. Never a dull moment in my life...

This and That

ATTACK! Poor Andy's shirt, it got tore up by Shauna B.

What have I been doing the last week? A short quiz:

1) Got into an ice fight at the KK (which I didn't start, and no it wasn't my idea to go there either);

2) Almost licked the face of a guy with Bill Gates like qualities (sans the cash I am pretty sure) because of a new theory that everyone needs at least one good face licking in a lifetime (and trust me, I would have been his only one...I was trying to do a good deed here);

3) Witnessed Shauna attacking and ripping Andy's shirt at a bar, see above;

4) Played pool twice and didn't suck too terribly at it;

5) Dealt with drama so ridiculous that I cannot talk about it;

6) I would say that I owe Andy my first born child to be his personal servant because that is supposed to convey how eternally grateful I am to him, however I am pretty sure that would freak him out, so instead I owe him dinner for putting together my new desk and new entertainment center in a marathon 6 hour ordeal on Thursday. I heart you, Andy.

7) Attended a party in Milwaukee with HK and ex-BF Richard;

8) Went shopping and have a tentative dinner pseudo-date planned with ex-BF Richard (I swear we are just friends, so stop asking if we are getting back together); and

9) Have been a bad friend because I haven't been returning phone calls because I am exhausted after a typical day of work, gym, and then some form of a meeting to attend. I love you all, I am sorry that I suck. After next week I will slate "being a decent human being" on my list of important things to do.

Answer: Oh crap, I think I made it obvious I did all these things in the last week. I will still give everyone who emailed me their answers a gold star and smiley face though.

What, What, What??? (Insanity Over Here)

WTF is going on today in Madison? Disturbing to say the least.

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On a brighter note, for the first time pretty much EVER my kitchen sink is void of any dirty dishes. Yes, it is true, there is not one single dirty fork, plate, cup or what have you, in my sink.

Amazing I know...

Ask anyone who has ever lived with me or has come to visit me and has been told to stay clear of the closed off kitchen, this really is a miracle. I might even take a pic.

N Y E 2006

It wouldn't be right to start the New Year without a good face licking:



Though, I could have done without the scary looking fish and chips (seriously did they just drop it into the fryer skin and all? I am perplexed.):



Once again, thank god for vodka RB...this time for more than just the normal energy deprived reason: