My Life in a Blender...

Blast from the past potentially changes life's course;

Drunk dial from Madison Boys elicits explicit talk, volunteer (moving) services;

Jenna and Michelle: Beach picnic only complete with contraband Mimosas;

Obscene text message received from one of last week's BFs, instantly deleted from bedazzled cell phone;

Ted Nugent poser band ear shattering, visual of half naked drummer caused blindness as well;

Semi-socialites treated like celebs as they watch horrid Improv at local coffee establishment;

Improv induces polite laughter only after free wine and ciggies;

Neighbor Nate's chest hair to be dyed blue after he is "manscaped";

Joseph told to Fuck Off;

Packing not going so well, Possessions more than likely to be tossed in garbage bags an hour prior to Momma and Pappa's arrival;

90% chance anxiety attacks will occur daily this week.