Packing Party Review

Michelle's Packing Party: Not so much packing, too many distractions.

*Nearly setting coffee table/own persons on fire: A+
*Toxic color/tasting drink: C



*Wendi's typical spilling anything that leaves severe stains: C




*Singing Girl Band style to Salt 'n Peppa/Mariah Carey Merry Christmas: B
*Not so much packing, instead trying on hats/tiaras/taking ridiculous photos: A



Thank you ladies, you really made my day by helping me out....Love you!

My Life in a Blender...

Blast from the past potentially changes life's course;

Drunk dial from Madison Boys elicits explicit talk, volunteer (moving) services;

Jenna and Michelle: Beach picnic only complete with contraband Mimosas;

Obscene text message received from one of last week's BFs, instantly deleted from bedazzled cell phone;

Ted Nugent poser band ear shattering, visual of half naked drummer caused blindness as well;

Semi-socialites treated like celebs as they watch horrid Improv at local coffee establishment;

Improv induces polite laughter only after free wine and ciggies;

Neighbor Nate's chest hair to be dyed blue after he is "manscaped";

Joseph told to Fuck Off;

Packing not going so well, Possessions more than likely to be tossed in garbage bags an hour prior to Momma and Pappa's arrival;

90% chance anxiety attacks will occur daily this week.

LP Trixies: OUT
Gold Coast Kisses: IN

Jenna, I found us a new neighborhood club!

Reality Check

Reality TV stars are everywhere! My weekend Reality Check:

*Sighting of my second favorite Bachelorette at Urban Outfitters yesterday (wearing a scandalous Le Pasage shirt...)
*Indirectly I think I gave my phone number to Brad yesterday too...oops!

Thoughts Floating in My Brain Today.....

Things I am not meant to do:
*Be Martha Stewart-esque, my nails are ruined from last night's cleaning adventure;
*Be a realtor, even though I have had 20 offers on my apartment since yesterday, I am choosing the girl who sounded the nicest on the phone (ok and cause she agreed to pay full rent); *Be Beyonce, though I do still contend that out of our crap-ass girl band, I am the Beyonce;and
*Navigate and/or find anything, I admit that I could get lost in the outskirts of good ole SP;

Things I am meant to do:
*Paralegalise the hell out of anything;
*Microwave all meals;
*Freak out on a regular basis;
*Try to remember what life was like prior to my Pink Ipod;
*Entertain the masses; and
*Move back to Madison, cause the whole process has been sooooo easy, it must be a sign from above.

A (kind of) Cinderella Story

Now this might come as a shock, but I fully intend on staying in tonight (yes, even though it is a Friday) to clean my apartment. Yes Miss Michelle, a fan of Tornado-style apartment decorating, will be transformed into Chicago's Cinderella, slaving away, cleaning and de-funk-d-fying the black hole that I have created in the last 2 years.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Potential new roomies, don't run away! While I may partially return to my sloppy ways at midnight, I promise to never revert back to my theory of "organized chaos." I am on to bigger and better things, like trying to be grown-up and being important and stuff...]

I would not be surprised if I were to die from Botox gone wrong...

Your Deadly Sins

Pride: 100%

Greed: 80%

Wrath: 80%

Envy: 60%

Gluttony: 20%

Lust: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 54%

You will die from faulty botox injection.

How Sinful are you?
Damn, now you tell me....

American Cities That Best Fit You:

65% Chicago

60% Denver

60% San Diego

55% Honolulu

50% Austin

Which American City is right for you?

A Weekend Pictorial

The Graduates



The Potential Roomies



A field trip to Stillwaters to see drunken brothers



My luck, Bucky at Culvers!

Paralegal Unknowingly Gains New BF, Celebrates Verdict

THE LOOP- Local Paralegal, Michelle, spent the early evening Thursday celebrating a successful jury verdict over drinks with office attorneys. The invite, initiated during the office’s daily meeting, was suggested by one of the partners that since “[Michelle is a good Wisconsin girl]” that she “should therefore get a drink with us in honor of the victory.”

Not being one to turn down a social opportunity, Michelle tagged along. Though one typically able to hold her own with conversations of sports, law, and general debauchery, invited Bangser, a lively character and a soon to be lawyer, to entertain in case conversation lulled. Like clockwork, conversation flowed and all were amused by Bangser’s antics. Soon questions of “Is he your boyfriend? Why not? Are you sure? Haven’t you seen When Harry Met Sally?” followed the second Bangser was outside of hearing range.

It has been confirmed that despite how it may look, Bangser and Michelle are just friends and have been for some time and have no plans to date in the immediate or far future. It has also been confirmed that despite her convincing attempts, the office doesn’t believe the Paralegal.

Who are these people anyway?

Oh my god, I am so disturbed by this....

Maddux, My Hero

Cubbies 7, Mets 0
Beltran who?

Who says the Cubbies need Sosa and/or Alou (sorry Wendi)? After last night’s 4 homers, Cubbies lead the National League in homers. So what if the Cubbies are still trailing the Brewers in the Central standings....

Other highlights from last night’s game:

*For the first time ever, I saw the first pitch (Wendi...ahem...normally tardy...misses buses...)! Next goal: hear the national anthem from inside the stadium.

*All suburbanites should be banned from the City because of this woman: I actually heard Mimi’s twin ask “Why aren’t they putting up the Ks for the home-runs today?” Oh god, seriously?

*You know it is time to leave the City when with every public outing you run into someone you have dated. Yesterday’s misadventure: Gus, the first crazy Greek I dated in Chicago. He had a tendency to drunk dial frequently and generally lurk around.

*Quote of the day (brought to you by Wendi): “There is a saucy dude downstairs wearing a crab costume.”

*During the walk home, Joe Montana rode up in his sidewalk chariot and told Vauk she was cute.

CL Ramblings

Since you explain it that way....

I want to be the CTA kicker too!

Super Freak

Shelly told me that this was her new BF. I was a bit concerned when I read the part about the accordions and "theme appropriate outfits." Turns out, he is no Polka-master, but instead a cute Rock Star.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Shell, I know you have been sick this week, but LAY OFF THE FREAKING NYQUIL.]

The Daily Dish: Weekend Edition

Paralegal gains access to exclusive club, questioned as to what she did/was wearing
(In a related story, see below)

Fashion Alert:
*Michelle in relatively conservative apparel for entire weekend, disbelief and disappointment obvious to Madison male-folk

*Baby Bro wears Haute Couture, sister couldn’t be prouder

Discussion:
*Michelle a hybrid of Bridget Jones and Elle Woods

Business:
*Verizon, craptacular as ever

Gossip:
*David annoyed again, talk of Chihuahua named Trixie leads to eye-rolling

*EMT MIA, Suprachiasmatic Nucleus out of whack

*Momma calls Michelle sassy, quirky

*The Dane revisited, another evil ex spotted/intoxicated/avoided again

The Cat in the Hat

Even though we have banned ourselves from the Derby this weekend for sanity's sake (and a certain blonde who isn't me has warrent for her arrest in Kentucky anyway), the fun of dressing up Southern style doesn't have to be canceled! Here are some ideas for ladies: