What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Always Stay in Vegas

In a wild turn of events, a possible plot to run off to Vegas and get hitched was actually considered today. Yes, a total Brit move. Who is the potential beau? Well now, that is my little secret.... You are going to have to drag it out of JMo who encouraged the not-so-sane scheme today via IM in a three way convo. JMo apparently has career potential as a Yenta.

Sorry, Tasky and previously stated and now confirmed, I will not be marrying one of the two that we discussed on Monday night.

Once again it is validated that I should be taking the crazy person meds.

Free at Last

I think we all know about my little crush. So I just want to say I knew it.

Don't you think a nice Midwest girl could do him good at present?

Now, all I need is an introduction (Stef?).

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

When I said I wanted a small dog to tote around in my purse, this is not what I had in mind. Smart-asses.

RIP, Ugmo dog-rat mutant, RIP.

Token of Appreciation

Seriously, could my hair be any bigger?

I have been many things in my life, but coming from a small town in Wisconsin where everyone is German or Irish, Catholic or Lutheran, standing out in a crowd based on heritage was not something that I experienced in the first 18 years of my life. My dairy-rific town was a bit carbon copy prone, unfortunately. Needless to say, most of my life I managed to avoid being "the token" one at any given event.

This past weekend I can tell you I was in the interesting and obvious minority. This weekend I attended my first Jewish wedding with Task. I had the honor of being the token Shiksa. I swear I heard the "One of these things is not like the other things...." song played by the band at the reception. Ok not really. And actually I had a great time. Plus we all know I love attention. Being slightly different most definitely got me that. I even learned several things from this experience:
1) Task was right, they all knew I was the Goyeh. Apparently big church Deb-ish hair was one of the 800 dead giveaways. The bride even greeted me as "So you are the Shiksa date..." which of course made the three of us laugh.
2) Though I enjoy a good Catholic wedding, these folks do it right: short, sweet, to the point and no ridiculous greeting line to have to deal with post ceremony. Who can't appreciate that?
3) I have never seen so many people dance for hours on end at a reception before and it wasn't to the stupid-should-be-outlawed-chicken-dance either, thank god.
4) I actually knew several people at the reception. For once I actually was grateful having lived in the Towers.
5) It is possible to cry at a wedding even when you have never met the bridal couple. Seriously it was a touching ceremony, shut-up and stop laughing at me!

I Got Nothing...

I am too damn busy to think of anything witty and/or interesting to write. I have resorted back to my college days and am the ultimate sorority girl again meaning that come Thursday night I will have had seven days in a row of sorority meetings/duties/events. God, I really am crazy to through myself back into this alumni style. Secretly I enjoy it, just don't tell anyone...

So with lack of interesting stories in my life, due to well honestly not having a life at present, I present to you the Chicago Girl Band.

The Girl Band, miles apart, but together in spirit...

I miss you Wenda/Jendi a/k/a Jenna and Wendi!
Darling Band Manager, I of course miss you too.

Ice Queen

Fuck. It totally snowed. Curse this state and all states that allow for such things to happen. Perhaps a phone to to my local representative is in order. Or maybe not.

Let Them Eat Cake...

A Martha, I am not. This has been established time and time again.

Last week BetweenBars, bless her thoughtful soul, sent me an easy bake birthday cake knowing full well that without her ingenious gift, I probably would have gone without cake this year. I think with my culinary skills we all know there was no way in hell I was going to attempt making a real one. To enjoy my strawberry flavored Hello Kitty cake all I had to do was follow the directions on the box and nuke. Perfect for me, a master with the microwave.

This is what it ended up looking like:



And yes, that is cooked, I think.

Sigh....

I might be hopeless in the kitchen, but then again these were the directions I was following:




I knew I should have paid more attention when BB and Sugar were talking in their ridiculous Japanese code. Damn it.

The News in Brief:
1) JMo, Shauna B and Elle insta befriend Cali sorority sister. Per Klabanoff: "Oh God, she is just like you guys!" (followed by a heavy sigh and eye roll). Welcome Julie to our little Madison club! We heart you long time!

"Secret society....Secret society..."

2) Shauna B dances with a monkey man who literally hung from the rafters at Lexi's party. Really gives a new meaning to "this shit is bananas" when they actually were dancing to a Gwen song...ahhh, the irony.

Monkey business at it's finest...

3) Inconspicuous cereal box yields birthday gifts from the Orient. BetweenBars fails to inform Elle that box actually contained sushi utensils and not frosted flakes. Also nearly going without explanation was the kool-ade looking packets that turned out to be bath salt. It could have been Jonestown all over again. (Thank you my lovely! My birthday gifts were sweet. I love them.)


Presto Chango! Boring Snoopy cereal turns into goodies used for a japanese meal

Girls Night Out

How I spent my Friday night:

1) Sushi with JMo and Shauna B followed by an ice cream tasty treat.

Shauna B was late, JMo was spaced out, and Michelle hurdled colorful insults which shouldn't be laughed at, but were. A typical night out.

During dinner it was discussed how we need to broaden our social circle, considering our group heavily consists of ex-frat boys who would rather play Mario-Kart than enjoy and guaranteed nonsensical evening out. Yes, a Madison degenerate A-Team was discussed ripped off directly from Sugar's infamous ad placed on Chicago's craiglist. We will be taking applications. Candidates most posses the ability to not be offended easily, enjoy an adult beverage on occasion, provide quirky entertainment on each outing, can appreciate the healing properties that a good bitch fest can provide from time to time, and are motivated more than a our slug male counterparts.

2) Trip to Candidate No. 1's apartment for interview

Caroline, a brazen fox, who thinks I am hysterical. She's laid back, she's fun, and I suspect she might enjoy stirring up trouble. Conclusion: Caroline, you are so in...

Initiation ritual: Eh, we couldn't think up one...none of us were really with it. The best we could do was when her BF requested via text for a fruit roll-up drop-off at the bar he was working at, we ate the fruit roll-ups and stuffed the empty wrappers with tampons. Boys hate tampons. Comedically genius, if you ask me.


Boys are stooopid, they will never know...

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Please excuse Klabanoff from the lazy slug list. He in fact is not a lethargic stain on the couch. He frequently can be found out on the town with us ladies, even if it is just to make fun of us. Everyone else while it was lovely having you out on Tuesday, please make your presence known more often]

World’s scariest baseball card courtesy of JMo’s humility and the Miller Lite Girls at the Gritty:

The Queen Bee (for a day or two)

Don't mess with me, I sting when provoked!

Even though I don't care to admit to being a year older, it is true, yesterday was my 26th birthday. Birthdays, as described via email to Sunday Girl and Sarah, are Princess Days. One gets to do whatever she so pleases on her birthday without social consequence. So being the "special" person that I am, I named myself Queen Bee indefinitely of all November 1sts. That's right, my rules for 24 hours straight, scary, yes.

Conveniently enough, I also named myself the Queen Bee of the slutty looking Bees buzzing on parade on State for Mad Town's 2005 Halloween. I was the only clever one wearing a tiara, so yes, I was allowed to claim the title.


"Debaucherous" The one word email I was sent after a friend viewed our Halloween Ofoto pics...

My Day

Holidays today: All Saint's Day, The Day of the Dead

People that were born today: Jenny McCarthy, Lyle Lovett, Anthony Kiedis (who lost his virginity on his 12th birthday..), and everyone's favorite Larry Flint (ironic given the Catholic holiday isn't it?).

Today in History: The Sistine Chapel opens exhibiting Michelangelo's frescoed ceiling and the EU was created.

Today is bound to be an interesting day.....