Oops! I did it again...

Prince Harry, when are you going to learn? I know you are rebelling from the mean, mean world that made your family rich and worships your brother more so then you, but you need to remember that not everyone can be king. Yes Harry, I know it isn't fair, but know your role as the spare heir. Even though you are constantly "misunderstood," do you really want to be the black sheep of the family? Shouldn't you leave that to your daft father with his tampon fetish? Sweetie, you do not want to be the new George III.

However, if you cannot be a stodgy and Victorian Brit, and insist on being a lush, continue to start fights with paparazzi, smoke pot and wear facist clothing, hire a better mouthpiece than Granny's stuffy and outdated ones. And if Lynne Spears and/or Joe Simpson apply for the job, run far, far away from these Apocalyptic doomsmen. Afterall, we want to you around, you aren't too bad to look at and chances are that you will probably produce one of the first rounds of un-incestuous and cute heirs.